I Love You The Most And You Love Me The Best

Today has been nothing short of awesome. It's the 1st of May and if I remember correctly, last year's start of May was awesome too. I'm beginning to love May.

I headed back to college after having a tuna sandwich for lunch/breakfast at home and then headed back out again for a movie with Asrul. Not only did we manage to get seats to Ironman 2, which is nothing short of a miracle since it was so impromptu (but granted, we did watch it at Leisure Mall Cheras and really, who goes there anyway?) it was totally amazing that we didn't get into any arguments at all, not a single one.

Ironman was great, the storyline wasn't very interesting but I was very, very interested in Tony Stark and I mean Tony Stark the character, not Robert Downey Jr. the person though he really is incredibly hot, but really, Tony Stark is so hot! That confidence, that slight jerk attitude (just enough to make you think that he's a heart of gold inside), and the fact that he is so totally brilliant and creating those awesome gadgets just makes me want to jump into his arms like, right now.

I also like watching the way Ironman flew so high and so fast (I would love to ride that!) and my eyes couldn't keep off Scarlet Johannson's red curls. I want curls like that!

So anyway, after the movie we left for dinner at Taman Tenaga, where I had the most overrated and over-priced Nasi Goreng Special in my life. Special my ass lah, setakat nasi goreng biasa letak udang and sotong sikit and telur dadar dah RM 4.50?

We also had kerang bakar which was great, I haven't had that in the longest time! And even though Asrul was allergic, I convinced him into having like, half of the oysters. So much for being a good nurse.

We were lovey dovey the whole of today and he made me laugh a lot and in truth, I think I've finally succeeded in banishing all thoughts and feelings of Casanova, and it felt GREAT!

I see now that he loves me so much and I love him too and that I was weak before, so easily distracted and gullible enough to fall for heartless lies. Asrul is the best for me and I am happiest when I am with him.

Oh, the most amazing thing happened today. On my way back to college, I stopped to fuel up my car and while I was standing there, a young boy of about 12 came up to me and wanted to sell me a cassette or something, proceeds were to go to an orphanage in Kedah. The boy was well-dressed in a baju Melayu and songkok and was holding some paperwork to show that he really was from the said orphanage so I took him seriously because I would normally wave off beggars and people asking for donations, I just don't believe that my money will be going to somewhere worthwhile. But I gave this boy some time, told him I wasn't interested in what he was selling but here's a RM 5 donation. He took it and said "Terima kasih kak, semoga Allah murahkan rezeki akak. Assalammuailakum". That roughly translates into "May God bless you".

When I was paying for dinner later, I found an extra RM50 in my wallet. I have no idea how it got there, I even called my dad to ask how much money he gave me and no, he didn't give me extra. I tried very hard to recall if anyone's given me any money to pay for something or to hold on to it for something but no, I really can't remember and I usually have a good memory. Even Asrul said I never said anything about anyone giving me any money. And believe me, I would remember if I had extra pocket money from last week because I am broke, broke, broke.

Weird huh? Weird but a miracle nonetheless. Alhamdulillah.

Though Love Sometimes Hurts, I Still Put You First

This ain't the honeymoon

Past the infatuation phase

Right in the thick of love

At times we get sick of love

It seems like we argue everyday

I know I misbehaved

And you made your mistakes

And we both still got room left to grow

And though love sometimes hurts

I still put you first

And we'll make this thing work

But I think we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people

We don't know which way to go

Cause we're ordinary people

Maybe we should take it slow

This ain't a movie no

No fairy tale conclusion ya'll

It gets more confusing everyday

Sometimes it's heaven sent

Then we head back to hell again

We kiss then we make up on the way

I hang up, you call

We rise and we fall

And we feel like just walking away

As our love advances

We take second chances

Though it's not a fantasy

I still want you to stay

Take it slow

Maybe we'll live and learn

Maybe we'll crash and burn

Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave

maybe you'll return

Maybe another fight

Maybe we won't survive

But maybe we'll grow

Time To Hit The Books

I am finally done with Chapter 4 of my thesis. Chapter 5 will approximately be 8 pages long, I think, and I'm going home tomorrow to write it because I need my dad to walk me through it. Soleha will be doing Chapter 6 and then we'll meet up on Monday to put it all together, edit the few bits here and there, add a little more literature review and.... we're done!!

Yesterday me and Ika went to Times Square around 9 p.m. to shop for a new floral dress, the one I said I've been dying to wear. I decided against a dress because it was kinda revealing, considering it's for a hi-tea function this Sunday where all my lecturers will be so I opted for a floral skirt.

The good news? I found the exact same shop I loved in Sunway, here in Times Square! It had all these adorable floral skirts and dresses, you know those cute ones with gold zippers? The bad news? It didn't fit me. God, I hate all this weight I've put on since London!! I'm so fat, I could hardly fit into my old jeans!

I was depressed and frustrated that I couldn't fit into the damn skirt. So what did I do? I ate.

Hahaha. We drove over to Murni in SS2 PJ, where I had this really huge plate of Nasi Goreng Maryland! I finished every bit because I hate wasting food (which is probably why I put on all that weight in the first place).

Okay. That will be my last binge for the year. I think. But Sunday won't count because it's a university function and it's a buffet, you lose if you snooze. My sister's wedding is in a little over a month from now and I'd hate it if I got too big to fit into my bridesmaid dress.

*Deep breath* Get a grip, Azwa. No eating unnecessarily. I should really get more exercise.But with all my thesis work and studying for exams, all I'm ever doing is sitting on my ass.

That's it, I'm going home tomorrow and when I get back here Saturday, I'm bringing my running shoes and have no doubt that I will go jogging everyday! (I hope)

Speaking of exams, Facebook and my friends blogs have all been flooded with exam schedules and good luck wishes. As usual, everyone's sitting for their exams earlier than me and that means, they'll have longer holidays too. But no worries, this will be my last exam ever until I get bored and decide to pursue a Masters. So anyway, here's a few of my friends' well thought out and creatively designed schedules:

This one is my bestie's

And this one is my classmate's (I stole it from her blog) so it's the same as mine.

After viewing everyone's schedule, and hanging out in my house mate's room and noticing her own exam schedule, I decided that I should really write down all my exam dates. After all, I've got it all saved on my cellphone calendar but really, I have no idea when my exams are. So after searching for some paper and a dependable pen, here's my exam schedule

I'm such a creative girl, aren't I? I had no idea where to put it up because my soft board was all filled up with cards and pictures of my loved ones so I did all that I could do and here it is :

As you can all probably guess, I'm not that big on exams. I hardly ever study, but I do cram up on the final week before exam starts. I still find it hard to believe that the lecturers are actually marking my paper and giving me a 3.5 average each semester. I think somehow, my papers must have been switched with someone who actually knows what they're writing about.

BUT. I will try to study very, very hard this one last time. Why? Because I really don't have any idea what I've learnt this semester. All I seem to be doing is my thesis and doing my clinicals in the ward, which is hands-on work so I really don't know what I've theoretically learnt this semester. And it's gonna be our last exam, so it's gonna be a killer one.

What I really need now isn't a prayer that my exams will run smoothly. I need a prayer for me to get off my ass and actually do some studying because really, I know I can deal with the exams if I actually study like I'm supposed to. I've become so lazy lately.

Okay, a quick note to my favorite people. Thanks Milla, for that advice yesterday. I really needed that and I think it woke me up To my dear Sai, be strong okay! Poor you, so sweet yet so plagued with demonic people, you should really sue them. But it's okay, when we're done with this hellhole place, let's party at Sunshine!And Ezzura, I know you're really working hard at scoring for your exams, so I hope your results really kick ass this time! You're hardly ever online now and I miss you!

And my dear Asrul, you've been such an angel lately, I really don't know what to say to show how much I appreciate you. Don't worry, love. We're getting better everyday.

I Am Sad Today

Because :

1. I wanted to buy a floral dress, or at least a floral skirt, but I couldn't because I'm out of time and money (okay, I'm out of money), and it's not just that I want to wear a floral dress to the hi-tea function this Sunday, but it's because I've been dying to wear one for quite some time now.

2. I almost hit this pakcik's car while reversing out of Asrul's rented house, but I didn't hit his car, I repeat didn't, but when Asrul got down to see if everything was alright, the old fart was so rude, it ruined our whole night just as it was starting.

3. He lost his futsal match today, even though he scored one goal but didn't take pride in it because he claimed it was "too easy".

4. After the match, he didn't want to go for drinks with his friends like he always does. I could see he wasn't okay the whole night long (he played like a zombie) but every time I asked if he was alright, he replied he was fine. I hate being lied to.

5. I hate people sitting in the passenger seat and commenting on my every driving technique. It's as annoying as scraping fingernails on a blackboard. Enough said.

6. At the end of the night, he got out of the car mad, and I left feeling both sad and angry. When I parked at a roadside and called him, it only made things 10 times worse.

7. When I got back and read his really long text, I couldn't process a single word of it but then again, I really don't care. I just want all these feelings to go away.

8. He did not reply my last text. I think he fell asleep.

9. I have to be up at 8 a.m. tomorrow, and I haven't read a thing for "cross-taking". It's almost 3 a.m. now.

PS/ When I said you've never made me happy, I don't really mean never. But I'm a girl, it's practically in my genes to exaggerate. What I really meant was, all we ever do lately is fight. Even if we don't spend the whole day fighting, it will always begin or end with an argument. I'm tired of all this. I just want to be happy.

Tension tahu tak?

If I Ask Nice, Can I Take You Home With Me?

I am totally loving this song! Yes, he did say Kuala Lumpur. And she's Malaysian, by the way.