Goodbye, Love

I know you need to get over me. I can't stand seeing you so sad. The only reason I thought we could be friends was because I wanted to help you through your grief. But I was wrong, I only made things worse.

So goodbye, to late nights on the phone. Goodbye to movies every weekend. Goodbye to bringing you to restaurants I loved but you hated but pretended to like anyway. Goodbye to public displays of affection you were cautious of at first but then couldn't get enough of. Goodbye to mapping out our future together. Goodbye to going to pet stores and picking out cats together. Goodbye to planning road trips together, goodbye to Roti Bom evenings.

Goodbye, love.

"There is no use crying over someone who isn't mine. I need to make my decision and never look back".

So I kept my mouth shut, I want to make it easier for him to move on. He doesn't need to know how I feel, what I've been thinking. All he needs to know is that he has to be happy.

I want him to be happy, so much.

I cried all the way home, it was amazing how I could drive through those tears. When I reached college, I leaned round the backseat to get my bag and saw a folded piece of paper on the seat.

It was a letter from him. Saying goodbye. He couldn't give it to me in person, it was too painful.

I've never cried the way I did in the car tonight.

It feels like I've just died.