Byebye 4.00

Omg. Seriously the statistics exam this morning was bloody effing hard. Like, I can't even say the words to describe it. And there I was, thinking that we'll only be asked of the basics since we're not majoring in statistics. Let's take a look at the subject title one more time : Code? FFFJ 4014. Subject? BASIC statistics and research methodology. Did anyone see the word BASIC at the start of the title? BASIC okay. Effing BASIC.

Basic la sangat!!!

Here are some of the questions that made me pull my hair out :

-What are the 3 factors that influence the value of t in a t-test?
3 factors? a)Student yang tak tahu formula t-test. b)Student yang tak tahu t itu apa. Huruf t?? c)Student yang benci statistic dan tidak mahu menjawab soalan ini.

-Explain the statistics model.
Since when ada statistics model ni???

-What is the use of a regression model?
To menyusahkan my life.

-What is meant by the term error in regression?
Error sebab tak tahu pun regression ni untuk apa.

And that is just like, the final few questions. There was 40 MCQs before that and I am just SO glad I asked my dad to tutor me in the past two weeks. I think the MCQ was quite okay, thanks to my dad and the book he lent me. Like, half of what I read was asked in the MCQ. So thank God for that.

The 3 questions in the essay part was alright, at first. I was quite confident answering the first 2 and only 1 question (the factors that influence the bloody t) left my mouth hanging. The other questions about the regression crap was the 3rd question, which held 20 marks. I answered only one question, which was probably 5 marks. I even drew a graph for the only answer I knew, hoping it would make me seem less of an idiot.

When I was in matrics and up till last semester, I did not have high expectations for myself. As long as I got above 3.00 GPA, that would be fine for me. Which explains why I'm hardly ever disappointed by my results each sem, because my expectations are low. But then, 2 semesters ago, I scored my first 3.6 and since then, I have been anxious trying to score an average of above 3.5. And I was so glad when I topped the class at 3.88, something I did not expect to happen in a million years. My classmates are geniuses. I spend all day sleeping, playing games, and fooling around. It was a stroke of luck last semester.

But unfortunately, this led to my parents (and consequently, myself), to expect more for this semester and my final one next year. Oh gosh. The pressure is so damn hard on you when you've performed maximally. You always want to at least maintain the same level or achieve higher. If you don't, you'll feel so bad and people will think there's something wrong with you or something. Even if I score a 3.5 but lower than my last 3.88, it will disappoint me. And it will disappoint me because my parents will be disappointed. And so much more because my dad is a lecturer in statistics and I, his daughter, for crying out loud, will probably fail statistics.

This sem is crap. I tell you, nothing but CRAP. Sure, London was great and all that, but I think it only put more pressure on me to perform better. I am not used to being put under pressure. I usually blur out when my classmates study because I do not know what they are talking about and I'm fine with that because I just don't care. But now, I do care. I do care when someone's saying something I don't understand. I care when people have read things I haven't. And I have a theory about myself that I perform best without pressure or high expectations. Look at me this sem. I actually care.

Which is how I know my results will be so bad this semester.

="(

Thank God I have reserved tickets for New Moon tomorrow. That is the only thing in my future that I am looking forward to right now.