Monday, March 30, 2009

When's a crush just a crush?

So there's this guy I keep seeing.
And thinking. And dreaming of. I saw him again today. Last week, I couldn't sleep thinking bout him. But at the start of this week, the obsession started to wear off. I could sleep peacefully again, and I was no longer thinking of him every single minute. But the thought of him would catch me suddenly, like a favorite memory that would suddenly come to you when you least expect it. That funny memory that would make you smile all alone and people would ask why.
Only thing is, I hate it to admit out loud that I like this guy.
Sure, he's gorgeous. He's older (hopefully more mature). Really successful. And if I'm not imagining it, he seems to catch my eye everytime we run into each other.
But if I recall correctly, the last time I fell for someone who I thought was "better" than my current boyfriend, and left him for that new "better" guy, I only ended up shooting myself in the foot. The guy ended up to be a big jerk. And my ex was sweet enough to be a real good friend of mine eventhough he knew I left him for someone else. Before he got serious with his new girlfriend, that is.
Well, things ended up for the better in that story.
But what about this time? Ok, let's count the ways. The relationship I'm in right now was a real tough one to build. I mean, really tough. He was really shy at first and was an egotistical bastard who never wanted to "lose" a fight with me. We broke up like what...four times? Twice we broke up for two weeks. But he always came back when he calmed down. And now it seems that he really is in love with me. Giving in to me most times and calling me pet names.
Don't get me wrong. It isn't all roses and music for us right now. I freakin hate his temper. It's worse than mine! And when he's mad, he forgets almost everything. This is the part I hate most and have tolerated all the two years we've been together.
How long am I suppose to wait for him to change?
He keeps on saying he's trying but whenever we get into a heated argument, he's the first to blow up. Sigh..
I hate it.
Hate IT.
HATE it.
I think you get what I'm trying to say.
Omg. What the hell am I blabbering about? Like That Guy would ever want me if I was single in the first place!
Get a life la!
I nk g topup ni tp mls la nk turun. I'm going to bed. I love rain coz it's so cozy to sleep in. Where's my twilight book?
There it is.
Goodnite world! =)