Just An Empty Shell

Lost in this world
Though the light shines so bright
Life has become such a blur
I wish I could vanish from sight.

Love was a game
I did not play well
Appalled by the scars I gave
Dig me a grave somewhere.

Hold me close
I'm about to fall apart
Arms around me are just ghosts
Of someone who touched my heart.

If you can no longer make me smile
If you can no longer make me laugh
If this happiness was meant to be our last
Then let me hold you for just a while.

Heartache is my best muse. And this just went through my head. Can't think of anything else to go with it, though. I haven't written poems in a really long time.

Pause For Thought

I have a little secret that I'm ready to share with the world.

I am a romantic freak. I am so freaky that I have a book of self-written poems. This is before Asrul converted me to the farting, laugh-out-loud, fist bumping, care free girlfriend that I am now.

So about this book of poems, I actually have two of them and only Ezzura knows of their existence. It's actually just a school note book with the words "Pause For Thought" and "Pause For Thought II" written on the front. See. I was such a stupid romantic teen that I needed two books to unload my unrealistic fantasies. But they were a good outlet for me to express my bottled up feelings due to having idiot boyfriends. My teenage years weren't kind to me.

So anyway, being the grown up that I am supposed to be today, I am now ready to share my poems with the world. I used to call Ezzura up back then whenever I've completed a poem and read them to her and she used to tell me how awesome they were. She was probably lying but thanks a bunch anyway weh!

Looking back, I think some of them were pretty good too. Here's one I wrote for a younger guy I had a crush on when I was 16. It was a momentary crush but I'd like to think that the stars back then were already rearranging themselves to form the fate that I am trapped in today -- being in love with a younger guy.

You are my sun
that always shines
just a glimpse of you
can make me smile.

You shine so bright
and keep me so warm
no matter how rainy it is
to me, there is no storm.

And just like the sun
I dare not go near
I'm just a dust particle
in your perfect atmosphere.

Even at night
you are the brightest star
forming constellations
wherever you are.

I am the farthest planet
in your beautiful galaxy
hoping one day
your rays will shine on me.

Until that day
you will remain my sun
the one that always shines
the one that makes me smile.

I should really start writing again. But what I've realized is that it's kinda hard to be creative when you're so happy. I need a broken heart to spur my muse into action. Not that I'm asking for anything to happen.

Oh look at me. Typing away 200 words when I can't even get 100 words out on my literature review. If all else fails, I know ONE thing for sure : I HATE RESEARCH.

Okay, back to work!