Today is the last time we're seeing each other before I leave for London. 7 whole weeks without him. 51 days without that smiling face. I'm going to live through it all but it isn't going to be easy for either of us.
It's been a roller coaster ride with him and sometimes, one of us would get sick and demand a break from all the drama. But we'd always gain perspective and miss one another so much that you just have to get back on that ride. I thought it was all over (really) two weeks ago and right now, I am just so glad that I had the guts to jump headfirst into this world all over again. So glad that he had the patience and courage to convince me. I don't know how long this little "honeymoon" will last but frankly, I just don't care and am too happy living in the moment.
We made little "rituals" before we bade farewell, including writing letters to each other that we'll read when I'm in London and he gave me a bunch of songs that he says remind him of me. I'm most touched by one of the songs, D'masiv's Merindukanmu. I know lately I'm always talking about songs and lyrics but I'm gonna say it anyway. The lyrics that touch me the most is this
Selama aku masih bisa bernafas, masih sanggup berjalan
Ku kan selalu memuja mu
I've waited all my life for someone to love me like this and now its scaring the hell out of me that I might lose him since we're so young. I don't really believe in long-term relationships, unless you're mature enough to truly commit. I just don't know where I am on that. All that I know are my feelings for him. The uncertain future scares me, what with the promise of heartbreak and all. I just hope he will be worth it.
He's been saying so many things about how he feels, how he will feel when I'm gone. And I think, mostly I just look at him and smile, not knowing what to say. I guess I've just been raised not to be so expressive with my emotions. I write most of my feelings down and that died down when I got too lazy to keep a diary.
He just asked me what my blog address is. So I know he'll be reading this when he's online.
You are the best I've ever had, my dear. And you can be so sure with all your heart that I will miss you the very same way you'll miss me. Seven weeks will blow by without you even noticing. Don't be too sad okay? I'll be back soon to "menyusahkan" you in every way. =)
I can't wait for the future. To spend more of my life with him. Love is life's greatest gift. And if you've never been in love, then you're alive but not living.
8 years ago
6 comments:
wa mane bley pkai mostest XD hahaha :p cani I lagi band6 dr you la XD :p glad youre happy dear :) thats life kn.sometimes were up kenkdg kita down.but dont give up hope.dont be.keep on living keep on smiling :)
all the best sane wa.jgn lupe kami di sni :D
girl, nice cmment hahaha emosi je you nih kmal :p
wa! sweet giler! huu sedey plak baca :( tp 2 bln je pn kn kjap je :) dia tatau your blog add? asrul sgt da lain skang he's the strong silent type kn bila dia finally buat something sweet bnda tuh jd sgt sweet kn kn :) gud luck k nnti da blk hukm sy visit awk kita p mam old town dgn ehem sunshine hehehe :p
kamal : hehehe sje nak pakai mostest, malas nak berlagak band 6..=p haha! yup, mmg sumtimes up, sumtimes down, kne bersabar je la..of coz i xkn lupekan korg di sini! kmen my pics nnt ye..! =)
sai: tu la, ble die wat sumting sweet, jd sgt2 sweet sbb susa die nak wat cmtu taw..=) mybe sy ley convince die g sunshine la skrg..haha..tp die x ckup umur plak..we'll see la cane..tp sy nak sgt pegi! xpe2, genting confirm ok!
Absolutely.
Take care in London! :)
hahaha XD mane de emosi b cool je dear ;)
ehee sunshine adakah akn terlaksana?to the window~~to the walls~~ yeah yeah :p
hahaha XD xckop umo XD tape2 setaun je lg kn? :) next year bole da msk sunshine :)
wa da kate genting conform kn! jgn xjadi k.klu u sedey2 pn kne pi gak taw :p tp hopefully youre not.tc dear kt london.bwk la blk souvenir skit ntok ehem kami ehem di sni :p hahaha XD
wani : thx dear..will do! =)
kamal : insyaallah genting mmg confirm. i dh set aside some cash. hehe. ala asrul tamau pon la masuk sunshine. die x ske tmpt bsing2 n crowded ni. hehe.
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