Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Freedom Ain't Nothing But Missing You

What do you call that feeling, an emptiness so deep, you want to bury yourself just to get away from it? When you want to sleep and never wake up until everything's different? And yet, you have to put on a strong front, not just because the person you love most depends on it, but because your job requires you to do so.

I've loved him for so long, I've got so many memories of him that I can't imagine what it'll be like if I didn't have him. No matter what I feel, I can't imagine my everyday without him. There were times when I loved him so much, I'd watch him, trying to memorize his face. The way his cheeks crinkle when he smiles, that line between his brows, that mole under his chin. There was a time when I'd know his scent anywhere. Even though time has calmed me down a bit, settled me from a fiery passion to a comfortable familiarity, I still love him with all my heart.

So tell me how do you let someone go? When they flip onto their ugly side and you don't think you can stand the sight of it and then, just as quickly, they flip back and you're left wondering if this will ever work. And if it won't work, where do I even begin to piece my heart back together?

If you're reading this, don't ask me about it. This is the last thing I want to talk about with you.

2 comments:

miSz tUna said...

I guess everybody has a reason to keep that strong front, even when they feel like crumbling inside.

Keep going strong k.. I'm quoting someone I can't remember down here..

"This, too shall pass."

[though I may doubt this, a little dose of optimism won't kill you ;)]

Khairatul Azwa said...

yeah, i think i've read that somewhere too..huhu..dunno la wani, i'm so super stressed out, i really need a vacation :(