Monday, July 11, 2011

He's My Favorite Martian

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray.

Okay, so I felt really pathetic and desperate, being the sad heartbroken girl, sitting on the floor in the self-help relationship section of MPH, reading this book. But I've got to say, this book saved my life.

It taught me what 10 years of dating and countless heartbreaks didn't teach me - the meaning of trust. Sure, I know I've always had trust issues ever since I could remember but to be honest, I can't really explain what trust is. For me, it was to believe my man didn't go out grabbing every girl he can but that's about all the definition of trust that I've got.

But John Gray (God bless him) here taught me that trust really meant believing the best in your partner. To believe that he can take care of himself, that he won't screw up a relationship he loves and to believe that he will come back when he leaves.

Which brings me to the rubber band theory of why men pull away, sometimes for no apparent reason. Seriously, it is now so much easier for me to let him go when I know he will be back with more love. And it doesn't bother me so much anymore when he's playing games on his phone all the time, even ignoring me when I talk. I know he's just in his "cave" and it doesn't mean he doesn't love me or is just trying to be rude. It's just how men are. It is because they are different that they complement women perfectly.

And even though I might not be able to remember everything I've learnt from this book (especially when my patience is tested), all I have to remember is that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Remembering our differences helps to put things into perspective and remind us that our loved one isn't deliberately trying to hurt us. It is just that Martians and Venusians think and communicate differently. It does not mean that he/she doesn't love you. In fact, now that I've read this book and reflected on our relationship, I now understand that all those annoying things he used to do were in fact his way of expressing his love (the Martian way) but I, a Venusian, didn't understand his Martian talk.

And then there was that chapter on how your past may affect you. It hit the spot for me, so much so that I actually wanted to cry and I have never cried while reading a book.

You might have noticed that I didn't spill the beans on what exactly did this book say about men and women and how to relate to each other. That's because I want you to go to your nearest bookstore and buy a copy. If you've been in so many relationships your whole life but end up disappointed or heart broken every time, then this book is for you. If you and your partner have been together a really long time but aren't really happy, then this book is for you. Don't be shy about buying a relationship help book. These books are written by relationship experts, wouldn't you want to know the secret to lasting relationships?

But of course, to read this book, you've got to find that special someone who you love enough to want to change yourself for the better. I'm glad I've found mine.

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