Commitment Is Nudging Me

I am back in college, a good 9 days before the semester even begins. I'm waiting for the word from my research partner, Soleha, so we can get started finalizing our research proposal. Meanwhile, I am spending everyday online, reading novels, eating, sleeping till noon, and hanging out with Asrul.

I am dead bored.

Asrul can only spare weekends for me since he's working weekdays and then there's the part where neither one of us has enough money to go anywhere. Yesterday we went bowling and he was so happy at the end of it, he asked me if I had any bad feelings today and I said no, and he said neither did he and he feels that today is a perfect day and he loves me more than anything and that I complete his life.

=)

Back to the part where we don't have money, I am soooooooo anxious waiting for 2 things and I don't know which one I am most waiting for: a)my ptptn to cash in or, b)my results to come out. I am hoping they would both arrive on the same day so that if my results are good, I can celebrate and if not, well, retail therapy works really well on me. And I am absolutely dying for a new handbag. I have actually wanted to buy a light blue faded skinny jeans but I think the handbag should come first. I have been using the same black thing for almost 2 years now. I am in dire need for a new one. I'm thinking a purple one would be great, what do you think? I did the big mistake of googling handbags last night and it got me craving so bad, I could only fall asleep around 4 a.m.

I'm also thinking about getting a new hair colour because I noticed all my pictures show me as a partial brunette; half of my hair is some black dirt colour or something. But I'm really happy with my hair now, it's just nicely straight, and deals well with ironed curls, and well, I have to say that it is very silky to the touch, even though I have so little hair, I could grab everything with one whisk of my hand. Hehe. I'm thinking of getting a brighter kind of brown or some highlights, I still don't know which. All I know is, I'm growing it long to get nice long curls for graduation, which is a good 9 months from now. I hope my hair has reached my waist by then.

Anyway, today I went with Asrul's family to visit his dad at the ward. His dad just went through an operation last Friday, and it was a bit risky cause it was at his neck. He's being treated for cervical stenosis, by the way, a condition where the cervical nerves are being pressed down by the cervical spine. It's an old injury from football practice, I think. His dad also has chronic kidney disease, gout, and high blood pressure. I'm not sure bout his age but it's around 50 plus. So anyway, his mum was talking to a friend who was visiting at the hospital and I was standing next to her when the friend asked when her eldest son (Asrul's elder brother) is getting married. His mum laughed and said no, he still has lots of things to figure out and doesn't even have a serious girlfriend yet. And then she glanced at me, smiled, and said Asrul will probably get married first. Both women then looked at me and smiled. My heart jumped like anything. I turned to look at Asrul next to me. Who is intently engrossed in a video game in his handphone. I then nudged him and whispered, did you hear that? He only gave me a tiny smile and went on with his game. Well, I know he heard what his mum said.

Meanwhile, my mum looks like she's getting used to the idea of me and him. She asked me a few basic questions about him when I was back home. Stuff like how many siblings he has, what his mum does for a living, stuff like that. So she's showing interest. And I'm inviting him to my sister's wedding next June. I'm probably gonna bring him to meet my parents by April.

Don't get me wrong, I am not afraid of getting serious with him. I love him so much it hurts sometimes. The thing is... I am really scared of bringing him to meet my parents. I am happy with this relationship as it is. I don't need anyone's evaluations or judgement. But of course, after meeting my parents, there's that inevitable "What do you think?" question. And Asrul, he's not big on first impressions. He is really shy. And I mean, really shy. I am surprised he doesn't come with a shell.

Oh gosh, I just hope everything goes well. And when his mum mentioned us getting married, I was like... wham! Reality hit. I am old enough to get married. And marriage will mean grandkids for our parents and no, I want to take things slow. I am not having kids within the first 2 years, if I can help it.

Ah, whatever, I am just going on and on because I am so bored. I am currently reading Cecilia Ahern's A Place Called Here, and I would appreciate anyone's comment of whether it's a good book or not because I would hate to finish the whole book only to find that it is a crappy one.

On a final note, I am currently listening to this awesome song Ezzura gave me, no doubt she got it off Gossip Girl. I am so far behind Gossip Girl now that I can't even remember all the character's names. Okay, I'm lying. But I don't know what's going on. I am so gonna buy the season 2 DVD. Anyway, here's the song by Anya Marina, doing a cover of Whatever You Like, originally by T.I. But I love her version way better.

	Anya Marina - Whatever You Like .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Happy listening!