Saturday, March 13, 2010

Lighting Up The Sky



It has been a tough road for us but then again, nothing good comes easy. All that doubt and fear I had when we broke up, I decided to take a chance and make that leap. I don't care if people think it's a mistake, us getting back together. I love him, he makes me happy and I want to know that, whatever happens, we have both tried our very best.

It doesn't matter what the future holds. Right here and right now, he is my favorite person and my everyday companion. He makes me feel better about everything I hate about myself and all the little bits I love, it's just magnified in the reflection of his eyes to mean a whole lot more.

I heard from somewhere that a relationship is like a bridge. You've got to build from both sides and meet at the center for perfect balance. I realized then, that I haven't been doing my part. He was so tolerant of me, of my tantrums and mood swings, while I was demanding him to be perfect. It's time I built my end of the bridge and start reaching out to him if I want that balance. I am trying so hard my dear, I only ask you to give me time to suppress my ego.

I realized, how much he meant to me, while he was gone. Out there in that forest of a single world, it all felt too different without him. Everywhere I went, I wished he was with me. Every meal I ate, I wished I could share it with him. Sure, it can be argued that feelings change with time but what if I'm letting love just slip out of my hands for no reason at all other than the fact that I was too afraid to commit?

The day he said goodbye, I realized what a fool I've been. How blind I was that I couldn't tell diamond from glass. So I asked him for one more chance and was surprised at how fast he said yes. How easy it was for him to forgive me. It all made me want to cry at how stupid I've been.

"Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, 'you owe me' "

I owe him so much. Love, forgiveness, honesty. And he's never even asked me for any of that, never brought up my mistakes to make himself look good. What more can I ask for?

I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will start building my end of the bridge.

Thank you for teaching me that while sparks don't last, love and trust does.

6 comments:

miSz tUna said...

love this one. keep at it k kak.. :)

you mentioning the bridge reminds me of a bridge my bf and i had doodled together a long, long time ago.. *sigh*
and tonight our conversation made me cry.. how lucky i am to have him..

hopefully both of u are strong enough to face whatever it is life throws at you.. k..

smile (^^,)

Khairatul Azwa said...

awww sweet gle la wani, after so many years pon still going strong :)

i think the main reason for our failures is me la, even though he's a year younger than me, die cm lg matured la..hahahaha

but i'm trying :)

thx dear.

Miss Devilicious said...

touchng prt yg dia x pnah mntion your mstakes tuh. sy tba2 rsa bsala dkt kmal hehehe :p sweet la azwa :)

Khairatul Azwa said...

tu ar, sy pon terharu actly. kalo sy la, nk terima blk msti byk gle syarat2. tp die, siap terima syarat yg sy bagi. *sob*

sy hrp die x bce ni n realize la dat i owe him. hahahaha.

jgn k daling. ur doing a gud job now. don't spoil it ;) love u long time!

miSz tUna said...

Maybe that's why you and him are together. You balance each other. Hihi ;)

Khairatul Azwa said...

yup, that's what i though too..hahaha! anyway, only time will tell if he's Mr. Right :)