I'll let you in on a secret nobody tells you : that fighting with your best friend feels a million times worse than any argument with your boyfriend. And I'm not talking about that "best friend" label people put on someone they've known for barely 3 months. We were never like that.
And just like she wasn't any regular best friend, the scars she leaves aren't regular either. What I felt, that anger, it was just so overwhelming. It was the kind of anger that burnt so bright and fierce and left nothing but a hole surrounded with hate and hurt. That is all I feel right now. Hate and hurt. Yes, those two are best buds too.
There is no room in me to even begin thinking about forgiveness. I just keep imagining the worst things, but they don't make me happy either. I've been thinking lately, that maybe we've outgrown each other. Maybe we're just not nine anymore and our fights can't be solved with ice cream and Super Ring and doodling around in a diary we both shared. All those days we spent hours talking under the tree at the end of the school field, that's all just a distant memory. We're different people now.
A text from Asrul at 9.27 a.m.
"I luv u baby..no matter wat, u ade i k.. Syg u :-)"
Thank you daling. I needed that more than you'll ever know. You're one of the few best things I've got going on in my life right now.
When I used to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know
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