When's Life Gonna Start?

I've been really emotional lately.

Well, more than usual anyway. I don't know if it's the part-time job or the raging hormones (I was 2 weeks late this month, yet again), or just me being too worried about my future, as always.

Graduation isn't even here yet but here I am, worried that I'll be one of those graduates with nowhere to go. Every time I hear the term "nursing shortage", I just want to laugh.

Nursing shortage, you say?

"Hello, Prince Court, may I please inquire about available nursing positions?"

"I'm sorry, we don't have any vacancies right now but send in your resume anyway".

Okay. So I did.

"Hello, HUKM, may I please inquire about available nursing positions?"

"I'm sorry, we don't have any nursing positions available right now but feel free to fill up the application form".

So I did. Well, halfway anyway, my black ink pen died on me right in the middle of the form and I have yet to find another black ink pen. I'm not too hopeful on HUKM anyway, because they're offering diploma pay.

The day I take up a nursing job with a diploma pay is the day I grit my teeth and slap myself for not taking that stupid JPA scholarship because I was too damn lazy.

You know what? This is gonna sound soooooo cocky and full of myself but I'm gonna say it anyway because I am so anxious to get a job right now.

I know I'm a good nurse who deserves the U41 pay that I've worked my ass off for the past 4 years to get. I know I can make a difference in nursing, because I love this profession and will not settle for anything less than the respect and dignity that nursing deserves. I want to see this beloved profession of mine grow and be empowered and I want to be a part of that process. The fact that I can't even secure a nursing job, (and not just any nursing job, I'm a picky person because I want a place with potential to grow, not a dead end job that will keep me hidden in a ward as I grow sideways) just kills me.

Because I know I can do better than some nurses who don't even want to be in the profession. Who are getting along day by day just for the money and doing a mediocre job.

I'm not saying all nurses are like this, but I'm sure you've come across or at least heard of nurses like this.

It kills me that they are in the profession but I'm not.

I know I'm being stupid because I've hardly graduated but I hate waiting around for life to happen. As you all probably know by now, I'm not a very patient person.