Irreplaceable

To those of you who has read my old blog in Friendster (which is inactive, by the way), this picture may seem familiar. Yes, I know I wrote a really long post on this little boy but it's been 3 years since his death and I still really miss him a lot.

I don't want to talk about how he died and and what I felt and the last time I saw him. That's just gonna bum me out. It's just that I miss him so much. I think of him every time I cuddle any cat. He's my what.. fourth cat since I was 3 years old?

The first cat I had was a Persian mix called Cindy. She gave birth twice and I kept one of her sons, Tom, because he had sky blue eyes and was grey in color. He later became the oldest cat I ever had when he died 13 years later, I was 16. How did he die? No, it wasn't of natural causes and I really don't want to talk about it because it'll just make me feel like a murderer. Cindy got lost during one of those 13 years I had Tom and during that time, my dad also bought me another Persian mix who was all black in color, a really hyperactive cat I called Cinder. He later got lost too. I made up the theory that they were stolen which was pretty likely and that was why, when I got Teddy on my 16th birthday, I resolved to keep him indoors only.

His full name is Theodore Tom Ocyrus II. Silly name for a cat, eh? Hehehe. I actually couldn't make up my mind on what to call him when I first bought him from a pet shop in USJ. At first I called him Sunny cause he's so orange but then it just didn't fit and my sister later suggested to name him Tom II, in honor of the late Tom. She later came up with Ocyrus, which is a Greek name for the sun or something. But something in me just nagged that his name was Teddy. He was so shy at first. Every time I came home from school, I would see him at the top of the stairs and, upon seeing me, he would run into my room and hide under my bed. But after a while, when he got used to having humans around, he became this really cuddly, needy, playful little thing. I would always call him my Teddy Bear.

He really had a personality about him, sometimes it felt like he was almost human. I've never, and I don't think I ever will, meet another cat like him. He would sit by me while I studied and when I didn't pay attention to his meows, he would jump onto my notes and roll around, asking me to scratch him. So I'd scratch his chin, let him play with my ruler, hold him tight till he can't breathe, let him knead on my pajamas and drool all over my leg, and he has this habit of sitting with his legs wide open and I'd tickle his belly. About 30 mins of that and he'd fall asleep.

When he died in 2007, it was the first time I've ever seen my mum cry over a cat. She was always shooing him away and yelling at him for scratching the furniture and getting fur all over the house and even bringing a bird in once, but I guess we all really loved him. He was part of the family.

And that, my dear friends, is the last pet I've ever had. I think things have never really been the same because I've never not had a pet kitty since I was 3 years old. I've always had a cat. But my mum is adamant not to replace my baby teddy and I think I am craving for some kitty love.

I can't wait to graduate and get myself a cat once again. And I'm not just gonna pick any cat, I know none of them can be exactly like Teddy, but I'll try to find one with just as much personality.

Poor kitty. You've got big shoes to fill.