Like A Volcano Waiting To Erupt

I am so out of it today. Sangat amat bad mood. I went to sleep angry and only woke up to be angrier. Spent the whole day on my bum in front of my lappy and then went to Kajang to sort out my pissy handphone and I only got more bad news to share.

I woke up at 2 p.m., which I think is early, considering I fell asleep close to 6 a.m. I've been having trouble sleeping lately and when a certain bastard dared to buzz me on YM last night, it only made me so mad, it was harder than usual to sleep. I almost texted him all sorts of profanities going through my head but managed to stop myself. What use would it be anyway? I don't want an explanation (as if there's anything that could make me not want to kill him) and if he ignored me, it would only make me feel stupid. Besides, I really am sick and tired of him. Let this end here and now, I don't want you in my future so just buzz off.

And then Asrul managed to piss me off so much today, I can't remember when's the last time I've left my phone off for one whole day. I don't appreciate guys ogling, especially not when that guy is my boyfriend and the girl he's ogling seems to be just about EVERYONE. I've seen it with my own eyes and then to see it again, here in cyberland, it just makes me want to kill him. As if I don't have enough self-esteem issues already. What makes it worse is that this whole time, he's been crooning at how pretty I am, how I'm everything to him, that I'm the only one in his heart. Seeing him stare at another girl and then practically drooling over someone else just erases all he's said before and makes me doubt everything he's ever said to me.

I know boys will be boys. He can't help it that he has eyes. But do you really have to make it so obvious in front of my very nose that other girls are much more desirable? Fine, I notice hot guys too, but do I ever tell that to your face? I do it discreetly and I only ever mention them to my close girlfriends and they know that it's nothing, just girl talk and nothing else. You may think your ogling means nothing but when it comes to my knowledge, it's far from nothing for me.

Maybe this is all just my hormones acting up, I am 4 days late. Yeah, yeah, blame it on the hormones. We were supposed to meet up today to use up my Domino's pizza voucher which expires tomorrow but he cancelled saying he didn't have the cash but then contradicted himself when he went to watch a movie with his friends.

Thank you lah, you're such a great boyfriend.