The End Of Eternal Holidays

Today might be the last day for the next few years when I'm not busy or obsessing over work. I'm starting work tomorrow! For those of you who don't know yet, I'll be working at the Emergency Department at KPJ Kajang Specialist Centre. I've been reading up on Emergency Medicine (like, 4 pages) so I hope everything goes well tomorrow. It's going to be pretty scary, meeting new people and getting to know a new environment.

I am soooo bad at first impressions. I don't know how to make small talk, I can't remember people's names, and I hate eating with strangers. I don't expect it to be busy at a private hospital's emergency department, because they only take in people who can afford to pay. So I expect there'll be a lot of lounging around tomorrow, where there will be plenty of opportunities for people to bombard me with personal questions.

"Where do you live?" "Oh, you're a nursing graduate? What's the difference between that and a diploma?" "You have a degree and your pay is the same as us diplomas?" "Are you planning to stay on?" "Why did you choose the emergency department?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" "What does he do?"

I remember my first days at matriculation and UKM. Most of the time, I'd be alone, dodging glances, smiling politely, and not really knowing how to respond to people. I'm not stuck up or hard to be friends with. It's just that I'm socially awkward with people I don't know. I think the part about making friends and meeting co-workers is the part I'm most anxious about. I'll be working under a mentor for 6 months, so I won't be expected to know everything about emergency medicine during my first month or so. But I'm nervous about the people. I think I'll be under a lot of scrutiny during my first few weeks, especially since I'm probably the only one with a nursing degree, they're gonna want to see if I'm really all that good.

On the up side, I've always had good friends wherever I went in the past. I know I'll probably find a good friend or two at my new workplace but I expect at least a week of isolation and eating alone. I'm also pretty excited to start work, I can't wait to get myself super busy, I think I'll pick up a lot of night shifts and double shifts! Kajang is nearby my boyfriend, so I'll probably be seeing him a lot after work.

Anyway, today I had the best shopping experience ever! I can't really go into details but I'll tell you this: I wish someone would hurry up and break the news so I can go crazy!! There are so many things I want to say, but I can't!

Alright, alright, time to iron my clothes for tomorrow (I'll be wearing this really ugly white shirt and black pants because I haven't gotten my uniform yet) and pack my working bag. Even though the pay is crap and I'm hoping to get something better before the end of January next year, I'm pretty psyched to start work.

Khairatul Azwa, Registered Nurse

Bsc. Nursing (Hons) UKM

I like the sound of that.